My heavy, but light heart.

Life is some what slow right now and there has been a lack of photo's to share so I thought I'd share a little something that I wrote last week. One thing I've come to conclusion about, regarding facebook or blogging, is that I shouldn't have expectations on comments or feel some sort of rejection if no one leaves comments. I've struggled with that before (which is silly!) when sharing deep thoughts and even some times when sharing fun and silly thoughts! Either way I wrote from the heart.

Yesterday my spirits were fairly above average. I took joy in the simplest chore or activity I was doing. All around, I felt good. I was happy that I would get the opportunity to work with an organization that I feel called to. I was excited about baking homemade cookies, picking up the room, finally taking time to read, sharing communion with my husband and fellow believers, and spending time with new friends.

I’ve felt on my heart that I wanted to be apart of this organization called Meals on Wheels. For those of you who are not familiar with this group they basically help provide a meal for the elderly. Today was my first hands on experience with delivering food to their homes. I’m very happy to say that for this period of my life that I am able to be apart of something like this. It helps me to remember my papa and my mema Robbins. It helps me to be thankful for the wonderful mema that I have who is still living and breathing. My heart has felt very strongly this desire to help the elderly in some shape or form. My number one desire is to share all of the memories I can with my mema while she is still here with me on Earth and I also hope to be blessed by the new people that I meet.

I don’t have too much to say regarding the cookies, except they surely blessed my stomach. I enjoyed about 7 cookies yesterday and really had no shame in doing so. I was also very grateful to finally get to share them with the staff members at the Church I live in. The thing about cooking meals here is that the smells linger all around the Church. I’ve heard many comments from the preacher regarding the sweet smells of baked goods, so I figured it was about time to share some of that sweetness! I do hope that they enjoyed them!

I can’t explain why “picking up” the room was a joyful experience. Actually, I do find a lot of joy in the end result. I’ve always really liked things neat and organized, so even when I make the bed it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something of importance. I am self-employed at the moment with lots of free time, so that’s probably why these type of things seem exciting! I also had some motivation since we had wonderful beautiful people come by and hang out with us!

I was really excited about catching the bus that takes you from UNC to Duke. For me right now it feels like an escape! I can put my headphones on and enjoy the 30 minute ride from Chapel Hill to Durham (and it’s FREE!). My plan yesterday was to take some quality time to read this book called “Jesus for President.” I enjoy reading, but I tend not to make enough time in my life to actually do it. I want to read more. It may sound silly, but I’m craving to stir up more memories from my past. Some times I feel like I can be forgetful and that there are amazing memories that I haven’t thought about in a long time. The book is also something that just helps me spiritually and makes me strive to be a better person, to be like Jesus. That may sound like an overused statement, but that’s what Christians are called to be like and I hope one day I can put aside my wants, my pride, and my selfish desires to be the person I am called out to be.

Chris and I are blessed with the opportunity to experience communion together and with other fellow believers on a weekly basis. This is something I have never experienced except quarterly at the churches I grew up in. It’s very humbling for me. There’s one part they say each week that always reaches out to me. She/He names out the different reason you may be there and one is for the feeling of failure. What this means for me is the feeling of failing in my relationship with Christ. God hasn’t given up on me (nor any of His children). I think we all feel this way sometimes. It can be hard to deal with feelings of not feeling worthy or feeling like you’re never going to meet the standards of the world. It’s just very welcoming that everyone can come and take part in the body and blood of Christ. Chris is right, there’s something different in sharing the experience with a body of people instead of doing it as in individual (which is the way I grew up!).

This all leads me to today. I was joyful today in the sense that I knew I was going to be able to meet new people and visit cute elderly men and women. That was a blessing. My heart has also felt a lot heavier today. There’s something I read in “Jesus for President” that really stuck out to me from a feeling I’ve been having lately. It says, “Look into the eyes of the ones who are hardest for you to like, and see the One you love.” I don’t feel like I have a lot of enemies in this world or at least I hope I don’t. I tend to be a fairly easy person to get a long with, but every once in a while you come across people that you just don’t click very well with. I’ve had a situation in my life happen where I’ve been feeling these horrible feelings toward someone. In some ways I feel like I have that right (which I DON’T!), but my heart doesn’t want to feel this way towards anyone. When God says to love your enemy it wasn’t a joke, He meant it. It doesn’t make me a better person for sharing all of this, but I hope it helps me to make peace with this person. Everybody deals with different circumstances in their lives and that’s something I have to be reminded of when I have these feelings. I want to have a more prayerful heart I don’t want to lash out so strongly with some of my feelings. I know with Christ's love in my heart that I am capable of doing so without becoming angry or bitter.

If you took the time to read this long note please take the time to pray for me, specifically for patients and more love.

Girls Day!

My friends came up to visit me in Chapel Hill. They go to experience a little piece of my life (or a BIG piece considering I am home all the time!). I made them breakfast that morning. We had some time to kill before we went on our little adventure.

I made a Fruit Salad and Chocolate Chip Pancakes. I loved the fruit salad!

Before the girls arrived I was goofing off in the Brides room! For those of you who don't know this, the bride room is directly next door to us. We get to her all the excitement of the girls getting ready! Whoo hoo! Sometimes they even try to come in our room:) Anyway, this is where we had breakfast and hung out for a while.

We had some spare time before we headed out, so we walked on UNC's campus for a while.

Around 1pm we took the bus to Duke's campus. I wanted to show the girls Duke Chapel.

We headed across the street to Duke Gardens after that. Amie met us there and we just walked around and enjoyed our time together.

Back in Chapel Hill....

We played around with the "art" before heading to lunch at Buns. I was so hungry that I ate all of my fries and they give you a lot!

We also drove over to this hippie mall down the street. Sadly the store we wanted to go to was closed. We headed back to Franklin Street and hit up a couple of UNC stores before the girls headed home. Overall it was a GREAT day:)

The Living Sea of Memory

This was my first experience watching a show/play at the Forest Theatre. It was so much fun. Chris and I packed a picnic dinner and ate at the theatre before the show began. It was a lot different then I expected, but we move ended up really loving it!

UNC Alumni Game

We had a great opportunity to go the the UNC Alumni game last weekend! My brother Kevin and our friends Paula and Kathy met us at the Church we live in. Before heading to the Dean Dome we enjoyed dinner together. I was excited about the game, but I had been before so I had expected it to be similar to the ones they put on in the past. The differences were this is UNC's 100th year celebration, Michael Jordan was there, the 2009 banner was dropped, they played each other instead of other former ACC players, and super star after super star where there. It was such a cool experience! You can just see how tight of a bond the new and old players have with each other. Everyone just looked some friendly and comfortable on the court. You could tell that they were all just enjoying each others company! I was most excited about seeing Michael Jordan, b/c this was my first MJ experience! When the night was over with it just felt good. I'm glad we decided to go to this game, b/c it's one of the UNC moments that I'll always remember!

Please check out the slideshow to see pictures from the game! Note, there are actually no captions for these!

Mission Trip to Chinatown, NY

Our Church went to Chinatown and did VBS for all of the local kids. It was an amazing experience! This was my first trip to New York. I did enjoy the city, but I don't think I could ever live there. My feet would get so dirty! I would also gain a lot of weight, b/c there are so many good places to eat!

I took pictures all week, so please check out the slideshow to get the whole experience of the trip! Don't forget to turn the captions on:)